Dreams

It has been a while, and I know I promised to be better at this whole blogging thing.  But you see, I have a perfectly good reason for my absence.  You see, we were busy making our dreams come true.  'What might that be?' you may be asking yourself.  Well, it's pretty simple.  Going home to California to be a family.  I am pleased to announce that we have finally made it back home and have been enjoying every minute of life together as a family of four.  Yep!  We are all under the same roof!!!!  Something I thought would never ever ever happen.  I can't begin to tell you how many times and how many hours were spent in the NICU dreaming of the day we'd be back together, under one roof and be able to see each other every day.  Many days I felt like it was only a dream that would never actually come true.  I am here to tell you my friends, dreams do come true.  I am now living my dream each and every day.  I get to wake up each morning to the sweetest husband and two baby boys.  I get to take care of a house-MY house, I get to cook MY groceries in MY kitchen.  It may sound like regular chores to anyone else.  But to me, it is truly a dream come true.  I can't express to you the relief that it was finally over and anxiety that completely left as we drove out of St. George for the last time...for a long time.  I need time away from that place.  From EVERYTHING there.  I need time to heal from all that took place there.  How long?  I don't know, but I do know it will be a while before I feel I am ready to go back.  I am so grateful for all the help, love and support we received while we were there, and continue to get from those that are there.  Jacob and I have wonderful people in our lives and we are grateful for each and every one of them.

I know that the Lord does not give us bigger trials than we are able to bare.  However, I can't tell you how many times I felt I had reached my limit and had reached a breaking point.  And trust me, I had many break downs.  I know our trials can make us stronger and better people.  I can only hope that I am a better person from all we have experienced over the last 6 months.  I had a wonderful conversation with one of the strongest and wonderful women I know; my Grammie.  She said to me 'you know, you just have to laugh in life.  I get up every morning and the first thing I do is read The Funnies and I laugh.' Thanks Grammie.  That is great advice.  Life brings all sorts of unknowns to us each and every day.  And lots of times the only way to get through them is to laugh....what else can you do?  So many things we don't have control over.  We just have to make the best of what comes to us and know that we have a loving Heavenly Father watching over us, wanting so badly for us to be happy and make wise decisions.  The conclusion I have come to though is that life is good.  I love life and I always want to feel I am living it the best I can.  With that said, I'll move on to more interesting and fun things:)

The boys.  Oh how I love my boys!!! They are growing-almost too quickly!!! I'm pretty sure Sammy weighs 50 pounds now.  At the last visit to the doctor, he weighed in at a whopping 11.9 pounds!  Okay, so maybe he doesn't weigh 50 pounds. But he is growing so fast.  Not just in size.  He talks to me all day long.  He smiles, he coos and has discovered how much he loves chewing on his fist. He has about outgrown all 0-3  month clothing.  Take a look for yourself:)

Drew.  Drew is also growing and weighed in at 8.9 pounds at our last visit.  I know he is growing as well because he is about out of all his newborn size clothing.  He is the sweetest little one and makes us laugh all the time.  His face is full of expression. He studies everything in detail.  You can see it on his face.  The way he stares so intensely, furrows and raises his eyebrows.  I love it.  He still cries.  A lot.  But the poor kid has some twisted insides and a sore bottom from a pretty bad rash.  So we cut him a break:)  He has a free pass to cry when and how much he wants.

Before I leave y'all, let me just thank you for your love, support and prayers.  I love being a wife and mom.  Truly it is the greatest and I can't imagine having any other job.  Life is good.